my instagram explore page loves showing me those like erotic dark romance novel tiktoks and i really have to wonder: why do all these straight women desperately want to fuck a mafia boss
Okay, let’s try and break this down.
Sexual fantasies are, by their very nature, transgressive. Yes, even the fluffy, romantic ones. As long as general culture remains negative about sex and sexuality in any form that isn’t cishet procreative sex within the confines of matrimony with the woman not as an equal actor but an object sex is performed onto, this is going to remain true.
And the thing about fantasies is that our brains like to take the things we crave the most and mix them up with our fears, anxieties, pain, and trauma into a melange of, sometimes, truly epic levels of fuckery.
But here’s the secret - things we fantasize about, from the most wholesome to the bizarre to seriously fucked up? They are very, very often NOT what we literally want.
Being into dubcon or noncon doesn’t mean you actually want to be raped or rape. Being into monsters doesn’t make you a zoophile. And fantasizing about violent, obsessive men doesn’t mean you wouldn’t run as far the fuck away from a man like that the second one of them set their sights on you.
If you’re really interested in the subject, I recommend reading My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday, a compilation of anonymously submitted women’s sexual fantasies. And, as it turns out, women fantasize about a lot of really violent, uncomfortable, and just plain screwed up stuff.
And, for most of them, even when they don’t actively realize it, it’s about reclamation. Of fear, of trauma, of loss of power. It’s about THEMSELVES and how THEY feel. As weird as it’s gonna sound, the men featured in those fantasies don’t really matter, they’re just a vessel, a manifestation of the extreme version of what you’re dealing with and/or crave. A safe, cathartic way to experience something profoundly unsafe, unwise, and terrifying.
For women fantasizing about criminals, villains, monsters, and anti-heroes, it’s very often about the idea that someone like that - intense, violent, with single-minded focus, and immense power - would love her, want her, always put her first, go against all his instincts/training for you without a second thought and be a clear and present danger to everyone but warmth and safety for her and only her, and burn the world itself down for hurting her in even the slightest of ways. It’s a sexual version of the fantasy of having a pet tiger, one that would never, ever attack you or hurt you in any way.
And just like the people who want to boop the forbidden snoot, the women fantasizing about their fantasy Mafia Boss Lover are very well aware of the fact that 1) men like that don’t actually exist, 2) the criminal world of their fantasy has all but nothing to do with reality, and 3) that the thing they’re actually fantasizing about is being loved, wanted, and safe… just in a REALLY intense, exaggerated way. And, let’s not mince words, there’s also often a more or less strong D/s dynamics at play in the scenario, too.
Now, you can choose to be judgy bitches about it (goodness knows plenty of you in the replies, comments, and tags are), in which case I would suggest you examine why you’re feeling such a profound need to shame women for enjoying themselves in their own little world, or you can apply the YKINMKATO mantra and understand that straight women, living in the constant state of preyhood, sometimes consciously or subconsciously reclaim power over that situation through transgressive sexual fantasies.
Also, fuck this idea that queer people only fantasize about healthy and wholesome relationships, romantic, sexual, or otherwise, as if at least half of Tumblr isn’t simping for, oh, for example, Hannibal fucking Lecter. Do you have ANY idea how many Mafia and Thug BL content there is out there?! FFS, Tom of Finland, a WWII veteran who fought against Nazis, drew art of exaggeratedly masculine men in Nazi uniforms in pornographic situations as a way to dissociate himself from those traumas and fascists themselves as far back as the 1950s!
So yeah. Less judgement, and more taking some responsibility for curating your online experience if seeing someone’s kink truly offends you this much.
“Booping the forbidden snoot” is a good way of putting it
I’m going to try to explain this without sounding completely deranged but like, okay: IMO, there are two kinds of fantasies. let’s call them horses and unicorns.
a horse fantasy is something that is theoretically possible. I do not currently own a horse, and the reality of owning a horse would involve boring stuff like paying for its food and mucking out its stall, but it is something I could do in real life. like, horses exist and can be owned by humans. lots of fantasies can fall into this category: traveling to a foreign country, living in a cute house with just you and a cat, winning a marathon, basically anything that is technically achievable even if it would be difficult to do so in real life.
a unicorn fantasy is something that is definitely (or almost definitely) impossible. I do not currently own a unicorn, and there is no version of reality where I could own a unicorn, because unicorns are not real. the actual logistical issues that might arise from owning a unicorn, like paying for its food or mucking out its stall, are completely immaterial because it’s not something that could ever actually happen. and like, it’s in my brain! I control it! I can imagine a unicorn that only eats marshmallows and shits potpourri if I want to!
I think the disconnect comes in when people assume that a unicorn fantasy is actually a horse fantasy. to use the tiger example from upthread: you can own a tiger. you can’t have a completely domesticated tiger that would never hurt you, not even by accident. so saying “I want a pet tiger” is a unicorn fantasy, because everything necessary for that fantasy to work (it being completely domesticated and incapable of harming you) are not things you can have in real life.
now, serial killers/war criminals/normal criminals/etc. are all things that exist. and there are definitely people in relationships with them in real life! so it’s tempting to assume that something like “I want to fuck a serial killer” is a horse fantasy: something you would want to do, and could do, if given the opportunity.
but for the vast majority of people, that’s not the fantasy. the rest of the fantasy (“he’s a serial killer, BUT he only kills bad people and he’s nice to me and is both able and willing to protect me from literally anything and has sex exactly the way I want to because he magically knows what I want because, again, this is happening in my brain”) is what makes it a unicorn.
This is obviously not exclusively a cishet woman thing but cishet women do deal with a different flavour of sexual repression than queer folks (not better or worse, just a different flavour!) and those fantasies really are about power, just not how you think.
The fantasy is that here is a powerful, aggressive, even violent man, and he wants you and needs you so much that he would burn the world down for you. The central fantasy of the romance novel is that the heroine is so desired and loved by the hero that he is both metaphorically and literally forced to his knees for her. I’m not with my books or notes right now so I can’t remember the exact quote, but I think it was Jayashree Kamblé who said that this aggressive/Alpha male subtype of romance heroes is “a lion among men who is a lamb before his woman”. That’s the fantasy. It’s really powerful! If your life experience has told you to expect to do all the care work and to minimise yourself and your needs to be palatable to others and to be grateful for any crumb of attention because you’re too fat or too outspoken or just generally not perfectly feminine enough, the fantasy of someone going absolutely feral because they want you so much is really powerful and empowering!
Again, not exclusively cishet women, and also sometimes you just think a scenario would be hot if it happens within your mind where you are 100% in control and can just stop if it feels bad. That’s also fine! That’s normal! We need to stop shaming people for their romantic or sexual fantasies, especially those of us who clearly have no idea what a fantasy is and what it does for the person indulging in it 🙄
smash bros is just kind of a funny concept for a game in general. you’ve got all kinds of game mechanics and characters flying at each other, and they’ve all gotta collide and Do Something
what’s steve minecraft doing against captain falcon? they had to ask how a falcon punch would interact with minecraft blocks. what if the persona 5 protag fought solid snake? they had to answer what would happen if joker could beat box
“the education system traumatizes students it deems stupid” and “the education system traumatizes students it deems gifted” are two concepts that can and should coexist.
For the record, accidentally tapping on Tumblr live when it randomly appears every week does not count as using Tumblr live for the sake of this poll. This is only referring to purposeful use of the feature.
I’d appreciate it if people could share this for a larger sample size!
yes that’s how bourgeois media tries to trick workers into being against strikes. Any delays are solely due to United Parcels Service incorporated not properly paying their workers.
By not negotiating, the company - hand-in-hand with the bourgeois media trying to make that the sob story - are actually holding medical equipment for ransom.
If you’re concerned about medical equipment maybe UPS should stop forcing its preload to go faster than it is safe, leaving open packages all over the place because they say that slows us down, loading tractor trailers not only to the ceiling but to the point where you can’t even open them because they’re that packed in. UPS is causing this shit, not Teamsters, not the employees.
UPS has never respected things like medical equipment and your packages. They don’t care, it’s all the bottom line.
This is what the company thinks of everyone’s packages, these are all from average days. This is what the Teamsters want to prevent by making kig conditions materially better for us.
I was quite literally told to stop repairing and taping open boxes by a manager because when you stop unloading a trailer for even ten seconds it “hurts production”.
I’m a package loader.
I have to step over piles and piles of packages to get inside a trailer that’s completely swamped with them. Yes, I am crushing your packages because my supervisor told me to.
I’m expected to lift 100+ pound packages at least 5 feet high into a trailer by myself. I’m 5′4.
I watched my supervisor stack a ULD in a way that was gonna make it hard for the next person. When I asked her about it, she said “That’s the point.”
I have to climb over and onto thin metal bars and walk on moving belts to unjam chutes because they’re so heavily backed up with packages. Those jammed packages also get massively crushed by the sheer weight of packages coming down. Sorry, your Amazon box got crushed, there was a 75 pound package that the unload team sent to me instead of setting it aside as an irregular like they’re supposed to because they’re being yelled at to unload faster.
I have had over 32 bruises from various packages beating me on one leg.
When my shift (Twilight) is understaffed, instead of asking people on day sort if they want to double (which I’ve heard they want to), the supervisors just do the work instead which they’re not even supposed to under our contract.
I had a supervisor accuse me of not wanting to work because I suddenly took a week off. I took that week off because I was so stressed out and suicidal that I couldn’t drive. He also tried to get me to quit in the same conversation.
I once accidentally broke something in a package and a supervisor told me to tape it up and send it anyways. It was an acrylic shelf display and it was extremely sharp.
This job is fucking cruel. And currently I am flat broke and have spent many weeks having to cut back on the amount of food I eat because I can’t afford anymore.
We do transport a lot of medical supplies, resources, test samples, etc and those people who work those jobs, who move all of those priceless items are paid the exact fucking same barely livable wage, and I would know because I’m one of them.
I’ve never been more disrespected at a job than I have here. Walmart treated me better than this.
UPS workers deserve so much more for the shit we have to go through.
ALT
